As loud as you scream
for this ball that is not yours
Or these horrific sqeezing sounds you make
When things don’t go your way
It mirrors perfectly the inside of my brain
A stormy sea with waves that roll
Reaching for tranquility
far beyond my control
My heart is breaking with each stride
Torn between the woman and the mother
A pile of guilt I often hide
Being one but still the other
While you tell me I’m the best
It tears my heart apart
How can this be true
While I am struggling so hard
Would you not rather have another
One with strength that won't give in
To manage your kaleidoscope of sounds
With nerves of steel and thicker skin?
You tell me I’m the sweetest
after pushing you away
Trying to protect my bounderies
It’s too hard for me to say
I need your patience on this road
Please know my love for you is real
Even when I cannot cope
Even when I cannot deal
Tell me, what kind of mother do you need?
If it’s someone who may love herself
And take some time to grow
Who is allowed to dance
between a high and low
I can be that kind of mom
Who tries the best throughout your life
To give you love, to guide your way
Who, despite the struggle
despite the strife,
is here for you
Day after day